Nilanjo! Fashion Blog

Ladies, What's Hot?

2012-02-15T07:04:00.000-08:00

A couple months agao - I wrote my last blog based on the point of view of a few good…I may even call them great…men. I figured I should bestow the same courtesy to a few GREAT women. I picked the brains of a few lady friends of mine about what’s hot and what’s not pertaining to the opposite sex. I’m going to start this blog feature off with this question: Does one being labeled as hot just refer to appearance? Or does it go deeper?

Mika, from Boston, who is currently single, answered: "In today’s society yes, but I feel “being hot” should go deeper and have meaning for more value".

Ok that’s true but when you’re at the club, and you see a fine man at the bar…I’m sorry you’re not thinking “damn he looks like he has some good core values”….You look at him and say “damn he’s fine”, instantly referring to his looks…physique, style of dress, etc. I know as adult women, we want to act as if we aren't the least bit superficial but we are. We all are. We are attracted to what we are attracted to and usually the first attraction is a physical attraction and THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT (as long as you eventually get passed it)....So let me ask this; what makes you look at a man and say “damn he’s hot”?

Kat, from Malden who is in a committed relationship answered: I’ll be honest here because when you are looking at someone and just thinking “he’s hot” chances are you don’t know him – this is more of a physical characteristic than anything. For me, the eyes are key – they say the eyes are the window to the soul and I firmly believe you can tell a lot by them. If he looks you in the eye, if he speaks genuinely, if he smiles and means it, all those things play a part in what I find hot…of course that athletic physique doesn’t hurt either

Nannette, from Summerville, SC, who is divorced and now in a committed relationship answered: Looks play a part that’s always the initial but for me a guy that carries himself well, has stuff going for him and a great personality. I’ve always been big on those things.

Mika - A man with a strong structure and cute smile makes me say damn he’s hot

Ok now we are being honest! I love that Mika's response is simple and direct. Most times, we don’t get into the depths of a person immediately. We like what we see, and then want to learn more. Sometimes we learn more and the things we took the time to find out beyond the physical makes that person even hotter. But the other side to that is we all know looks can be deceiving. We all have learned, one way or another, the cover doesn’t make for good content. Now the question is what isn’t hot? In other words, what is an immediate turn off?

Kat: Immediate turnoffs for me - wow there are a lot …. Personal hygiene (let’s just get that one out of the way), liars and manipulators, basically the EXACT opposites of what I find attractive. I can’t stand fake people – everything about them annoys me, and that is especially true of what I find hot in a man.

Nannette: Bad Attitude there’s nothing worse than someone that might have some good qualities but there attitude f***ks it up.

Mika: Funky Breath, Dirty hands and nails and Pants not pulled up

I'm with all 3 of you. The man can’t be hot if he is smelling ripe. That is just not right. And so he’s not my type. LOL The men from my previous blog mentioned hygiene throughout. Bad attitudes as well seem to be a universal turn off. Mika touched on a pet peeve of mine. I loathe seeing men in sagging jeans. Some women chuck it up to personal swagger. Some look at it as lack of pride in their appearance. We keep trying to go deeper and get passed appearance but seriously it does factor in. There has to be some physical attraction. That doesn't mean his looks per se. He doesn't have to be muscle bound but we do have to take in his overall appearance...the way he walks...the way he dresses...carries himself...his confidence level...his smile. Yes this all factors into his hotness. That’s how I see it. Like I said, some of us can't get passed looks though. If a man isn’t hot in the sense of being buff or in shape, or if isn’t the smoothest dresser, etc….does that mean your relationship or sex life isn’t as hot? What brings the heat in those areas?

Kat: I believe there has to be SOME physical attraction and/or chemistry between you, that’s just part of the animalistic nature of being human, but the societal definition of “beauty” in men or women are not always what I find attractive. I find the emotional connection with someone much more of a turn-on than the physical aspects. My best sexual experiences have been with the person I LOVE because its not always about the physical feeling that makes the sex hot – its about the intimacy – the way he knows my body and what I like (and don’t like) – the comfort and confidence and sensuality (not just sexuality) I feel when I am with him because he makes me FEEL beautiful, doesn’t just tell me I am…

Nannette: It’s not always about the physical for me what makes my relationship hot is good conversation and good company. I really enjoy my man’s company as well as conversation which can lead to other things that make it hot..

Mika: No it depends on personality for a relationship/sex life, to bring heat you have to be confident and have “ swagger”.

Let’s get this right….yes physical attributes play a role INITIALLY. Being hot has layers such as good attitude, good style, good conversation, etc. And he doesn’t have to be physically "hot" to get you hot. ..and if he has bad hygiene he can’t get it….Ok I can dig it. We're human. We are all layered beings. Men like to act as if they're so basic and women hate hearing how complicated we are BUT we have a lot in common. Men vs Women in What's Hot & What's Not...I think it's a tie.

The next thing for me to do is to give you my fashion take on what's hot and what's not. You know I gotta get into the style side. I am a fashion designer afterall! Yeah ladies, the caked on make-up... HATED IT! Dudes, belting your pants UNDER your ass so I can see your boxers...HATED IT! Leggings with every damn outfit..HATED IT! Bathing in a BJ's size amount of cologne...HATED IT (and give me a gas mask)! So stay tuned because I'm going innnnnnnnn :)

Peace Love & Fashion!

WHAT'S HOT ...WHAT'S NOT?

2011-11-30T08:21:00.000-08:00

It's your girl, Nika L A Jones Hollingsworth, coming at you once again with the new and improved blog for your reading fancy! I have this fashion show coming up in the spring called “Red Hot”. So I’ve been thinking a lot about the word “hot”. This word "hot" seems to be used a lot these days and just about everyone spews it at the drop of a dime. While it’s a popular slang term used to describe something or someone that looks good or is good.... i.e.”She’s hot”! Or “those shoes are hot”! OR it can describe the opposite --- as in a “hot mess"... there are many out there...maybe too many...that think they’re HOT. Can’t tell them nothing because they know they set the world ablaze just by waking up each morning. Being hot doesn’t mean you get glammed up every day in full make-up, walk 20 miles in your best Prada heels or rock your tightest, most revealing freak em dress just to go to the corner store for a pack of gum. But the way a woman dresses and/or presents herself does have a lot to do with being hot (men too – so keep your game up too).

I believe that it is always great to have confidence...as long as you’re not a snob about it. But what is hot to some isn’t always hot to others...but then again; what defines “hot”? And who defines it? We all have different tastes and different styles. Our likes and dislikes vary from day to day let alone person to person. So what’s hot and what’s not? Is this answered based on an overall consensus or personal opinion? I think it’s maybe a combination of both. And if you’re in a relationship, does your significant other’s perception of what’s hot matter? Now, Ladies, we may think we’re hot but does our definition of hot fit our man’s definition? Do we care? Yeah we do although a bunch is going to say they don’t. We flaunt our “hotness” for a reason and we care about what our men or potential men think. Which is why I picked the brains of a few good men ranging from ages of mid-twenties to early forties and varying marital statuses (single, dating, married) and different races as well... to ask them what’s hot & what’s not. I asked them the same four questions:

• Question #1: What is the definition of "Hot" in reference to a woman?
• Question #2: Do you think the definition varies from man to man or does it translate universally?
• Question #3: In your personal opinion, what makes a woman "hot"?
• Question #4: What are 4 things about a woman that isn't hot (i.e. too much make-up, bad attitude, etc)

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Jim, Boston

The definition of hot. I think it's how a woman looks, dresses, and how she acts. The combination of all three.

I don't think the definition varies, but I think what preference a man likes within those three categories varies.

I think for me the hottest women are the ones that are the most confident and comfortable with themselves. A comfortable and confident woman maximizes her attractiveness. She presents herself well to the world, dresses well, looks good, and people want to know her.

I think that the biggest turn off, something that I don't think is hot is when a woman dresses "slutty". Sexy is one thing, but don't dress like a tramp. Also, on the other hand, when a girl puts Zero effort into dressing nice ... pajama pants, and a hooded sweatshirt ... also not hot. Confidence is one thing, but being a snob is something else, acting like you are better than everyone else is not hot. I think the last thing is trying too hard with your appearance. Too much makeup, too big of a hair, and too much tanning/self-tanner is not hot.
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Maurice, Dorchester

I feel that a woman's "Hot"-ness represents her level of sexiness. Every woman has a certain thing about them that makes them sexy, from their eyes, to their lips, their smile, to the way they wear their hair, how they wear a dress, et cetera et cetera. If they don't bring out their sexy, then they are not so "Hot!" If they do, they are "Hot" or even "Red Hot!"

The definition could vary from man to man. For instance, I find a woman "Hot" if she's intelligent, has a pretty smile, good personality, and wears nice clothes and looks good in them. Another man on the other hand could find a woman "Hot" if she has a big butt, nice sized breasts, and is thin like most models. Now don't get me wrong, I do like the physical qualities of a woman, but it's not ALL that makes a woman "Hot!"

As I mentioned in the previous answer, I find a woman "Hot" if she's intelligent, has a pretty smile, good personality, and wears nice clothes and looks good in them. If she has all four of these things, she's "Hot!"
1) a woman that smells BAD
2) one that's unintelligent and unable to hold a descent conversation
3) a woman that no matter how big or small she is doesn't keep up with her appearance (i.e wears tight clothing that don't fit well for a big woman, or a woman that's small in size dressed in a style that resembles that of a street-hooker or stripper)
4) a woman that's rude or snobbish

*If even one of these characteristics makes up a woman, she's not HOT at all!
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Kevin, Brooklyn

In my opinion. This is what makes a woman hot: Her look, the way she's dresses and carries herself. Her attitude (the wrong attitude can damn near make her ugly). Of course her brain. Now what I mean by that is, I’m a sucker for good convo,so if you look good, have the right attitude and can talk to me & not just about what Beyonce did yesterday I mean a real convo. Then you’re smokin in my book lol

Yes this definition varies from man to man. What’s hot to me is not hot to my son or neps. My man may like a slim size 4; where as my other man may worship a size 16. Sum men may not want a smart independent woman & so on & so on.

What’s NOT hot?
1) smoking
2) attitude, attitude.
3) poor communication
4) bad personal hygiene
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Anonymous, Detroit

A woman is hot if she knows how to carry herself with the mindset of there is a time and a place for everything. Being a lady should always be first on the agenda (speaking with intelligence, being articulate, etc). A woman who is hot knows how to dress appropriately, she knows how to speak her mind and knows how to get a point across, and she can handle her business. Like Ludacris said...a woman in the streets but a freak in the bed.
I think all men want a woman that is secure in her womanhood. That’s hot. But to what degree may vary. Some men don’t like a loud, outgoing woman and then some do. But we can all agree that a woman who knows who she is and is uncompromising of what she stands for is hot. She should be confident but humble.
A negative attitude isn’t hot. A woman who doesn’t keep up her appearance (wears raggedy clothes, flips flops everywhere, hair a mess, chewed up nails, etc).. A woman that uses her looks to get things isn’t hot. And a woman who isn’t or acts like she isn’t smart isn’t hot either.

I gather from these 4 men that presentation, good hygiene & intelligence are high on the “HOT” list. I mean true you can look fine as hell but if you sound like an idiot when you speak, it can be a turn off. I’m a bit annoyed that hygiene is mentioned. Isn’t hygiene a given? Brush your teeth, wash your booty, wear deodorant, put on clean clothes…right? Obviously if it’s being mentioned, there are grown folks walking around out there with garlic breath and onion arm pits not afraid to let the funk hit the fan (like an old batch of collard greens *Snoop).

While I think their answers were a bit safe, I love the information that was shared. As men get older, I feel that a sexy body and good looks get traded for a well versed, intelligent woman who knows how to carry herself and takes pride in how she looks and acts. They are describing women they’d want to be in a relationship with or are in relationships with. While I hear dudes comment on women that walk by in scantily clad outfits, looking like whoa say “Damn, she’s hot”.... Videos come on TV (in between reality TV & Maury) where the vixens are casted based on what men perceive as hot. ..And I’m not saying all men like that kind of thing.....I feel men are evolving and maturing and we need to give them more credit. Ok that all sounds good...but Ladies, your turn is coming soon. So you think about it – What makes a man hot? And let’s see if your answers measure up.