Ladies, What's Hot?

A couple months agao - I wrote my last blog based on the point of view of a few good…I may even call them great…men. I figured I should bestow the same courtesy to a few GREAT women. I picked the brains of a few lady friends of mine about what’s hot and what’s not pertaining to the opposite sex. I’m going to start this blog feature off with this question: Does one being labeled as hot just refer to appearance? Or does it go deeper?

Mika, from Boston, who is currently single, answered: "In today’s society yes, but I feel “being hot” should go deeper and have meaning for more value".

Ok that’s true but when you’re at the club, and you see a fine man at the bar…I’m sorry you’re not thinking “damn he looks like he has some good core values”….You look at him and say “damn he’s fine”, instantly referring to his looks…physique, style of dress, etc. I know as adult women, we want to act as if we aren't the least bit superficial but we are. We all are. We are attracted to what we are attracted to and usually the first attraction is a physical attraction and THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT (as long as you eventually get passed it)....So let me ask this; what makes you look at a man and say “damn he’s hot”?

Kat, from Malden who is in a committed relationship answered: I’ll be honest here because when you are looking at someone and just thinking “he’s hot” chances are you don’t know him – this is more of a physical characteristic than anything. For me, the eyes are key – they say the eyes are the window to the soul and I firmly believe you can tell a lot by them. If he looks you in the eye, if he speaks genuinely, if he smiles and means it, all those things play a part in what I find hot…of course that athletic physique doesn’t hurt either

Nannette, from Summerville, SC, who is divorced and now in a committed relationship answered: Looks play a part that’s always the initial but for me a guy that carries himself well, has stuff going for him and a great personality. I’ve always been big on those things.

Mika - A man with a strong structure and cute smile makes me say damn he’s hot

Ok now we are being honest! I love that Mika's response is simple and direct. Most times, we don’t get into the depths of a person immediately. We like what we see, and then want to learn more. Sometimes we learn more and the things we took the time to find out beyond the physical makes that person even hotter. But the other side to that is we all know looks can be deceiving. We all have learned, one way or another, the cover doesn’t make for good content. Now the question is what isn’t hot? In other words, what is an immediate turn off?

Kat: Immediate turnoffs for me - wow there are a lot …. Personal hygiene (let’s just get that one out of the way), liars and manipulators, basically the EXACT opposites of what I find attractive. I can’t stand fake people – everything about them annoys me, and that is especially true of what I find hot in a man.

Nannette: Bad Attitude there’s nothing worse than someone that might have some good qualities but there attitude f***ks it up.

Mika: Funky Breath, Dirty hands and nails and Pants not pulled up

I'm with all 3 of you. The man can’t be hot if he is smelling ripe. That is just not right. And so he’s not my type. LOL The men from my previous blog mentioned hygiene throughout. Bad attitudes as well seem to be a universal turn off. Mika touched on a pet peeve of mine. I loathe seeing men in sagging jeans. Some women chuck it up to personal swagger. Some look at it as lack of pride in their appearance. We keep trying to go deeper and get passed appearance but seriously it does factor in. There has to be some physical attraction. That doesn't mean his looks per se. He doesn't have to be muscle bound but we do have to take in his overall appearance...the way he walks...the way he dresses...carries himself...his confidence level...his smile. Yes this all factors into his hotness. That’s how I see it. Like I said, some of us can't get passed looks though. If a man isn’t hot in the sense of being buff or in shape, or if isn’t the smoothest dresser, etc….does that mean your relationship or sex life isn’t as hot? What brings the heat in those areas?

Kat: I believe there has to be SOME physical attraction and/or chemistry between you, that’s just part of the animalistic nature of being human, but the societal definition of “beauty” in men or women are not always what I find attractive. I find the emotional connection with someone much more of a turn-on than the physical aspects. My best sexual experiences have been with the person I LOVE because its not always about the physical feeling that makes the sex hot – its about the intimacy – the way he knows my body and what I like (and don’t like) – the comfort and confidence and sensuality (not just sexuality) I feel when I am with him because he makes me FEEL beautiful, doesn’t just tell me I am…

Nannette: It’s not always about the physical for me what makes my relationship hot is good conversation and good company. I really enjoy my man’s company as well as conversation which can lead to other things that make it hot..

Mika: No it depends on personality for a relationship/sex life, to bring heat you have to be confident and have “ swagger”.

Let’s get this right….yes physical attributes play a role INITIALLY. Being hot has layers such as good attitude, good style, good conversation, etc. And he doesn’t have to be physically "hot" to get you hot. ..and if he has bad hygiene he can’t get it….Ok I can dig it. We're human. We are all layered beings. Men like to act as if they're so basic and women hate hearing how complicated we are BUT we have a lot in common. Men vs Women in What's Hot & What's Not...I think it's a tie.

The next thing for me to do is to give you my fashion take on what's hot and what's not. You know I gotta get into the style side. I am a fashion designer afterall! Yeah ladies, the caked on make-up... HATED IT! Dudes, belting your pants UNDER your ass so I can see your boxers...HATED IT! Leggings with every damn outfit..HATED IT! Bathing in a BJ's size amount of cologne...HATED IT (and give me a gas mask)! So stay tuned because I'm going innnnnnnnn :)

Peace Love & Fashion!